A TORRENT OF MERCHANDISE

by Rick Green


It was creative differences and a healthy mutual loathing between Hoverboy creators C.L. Nutt and Bob Stark that lead to their diverging careers, and later to adultery, blackmail, fraud, assault charges and murder.

But for us fans, there was a wonderful benefit, probably unintended when the Judge in the Nutt/Stark Ownership Rights Case made his fateful decision.  After calling both litigants the worst pair of liars he’d ever seen in 31 years on the bench, the Judge awarded them each equal right to to the use of the Hoverboy character, with the caveat of "Active Ownership".  Which is legal for Use It Or Lose It.  Each party, ie Bob Stark and Charlie Nutt, had to make at least one Hoverboy product, book, movie, business deal, or well, whatever- per year.  As long as they were creating new sources of income that stemmed from the bucket boy, they were legally entitled to 100% of that income and continued ownership.

Utah Courtroom where the future of Hoverboy was decided.

This is why there are so many Hoverboy products and projects.  Movie Serials.  Radio programs. Comics.  Toys.  Actions figures...

And commercial endorsements.

Scores and scores of commercial endorsements.

Hoverboy Coca-Cola Ad, 1951

Several Hoverboy fans, including Moi, are currently petitioning the Guiness Book of World Records to have Hoverboy declared the most widely used Trademark figure in advertising history.

HUAC ANTI-CANADIAN PSA, 1954

Among some of the products, services and businesses that have be promoted, hawked, pitched or championed by Hoverboy include:

Hoverboy Bucket’s N Fists Cereals

Hoverboy Mop Buckets

Hoverboy Mock Ham

Spokane Hand Car Wash

Fiat automobiles.

Ross Perot for President

Hoverboy Tampons ‘They feel like they’re floating’.

Hoverboy Gum 

The Wyoming Tourist Bureau

Save-A-Buck Pastries

Reel Rubber Truck Tyres

Nabisco Fudge Duds

The Foundation for the Promotion of Esperanto

Hoverboy Snap Cookies

Balloon Baron of Baltimore

Lil Bushwacker Slingshots

The Iowa Literacy Council

Belgian Boy Cleanser

Tiny Debbie’s Do-Nuts

The United States Coast Guard

Acme Ant Farms

The Saudi Royal Family

Save The Antelope Foundation

Former Freighter Cruise Lines

Triple AAA Security Systems

The St. Paul/Minneapolis Karate Klub

Louisiana Power and Telephone

Ride N Slide N Hide by Mattel

The National Wood & Lumber Association

Sammy’s Sump Pumps

Roy Reynolds Chev/Olds Dealership

Nevada Christian College (Vegas campus)
The El Paso Lizard Museum

Lamp Shades ‘N Such

The Greater Boston Anti-Drug Coalition

Buckeye Canned Tuna, Buckeye Canned Salmon, Buckeye Canned Carp

Laredo Wrench & Socket

The Rhode Island Tourette Clinic

Uraguay Airlines

Old Indiana Pail Ale

Spandex

House of Brisket

TinToy Lunch Pails

THE CURSE

by Rick Green

When most of us here the term, “The Curse” we think of our girlfriend being really mean once a month.  But for Hoverboy fans, The Curse is something quite different.  And not just because we don’t have girlfriends.

It’s because “The Curse” is one of the biggest reasons that Hoverboy is  considered the 137^th greatest comic book character rather than, as he rightfully deserves, the 73^rd.  Some of the top comic creators refused to get involved in Hoverboy comics because they feared for their lives. Which is ridiculous.  I think they used the Curse as an excuse, and the real issue was that Hoverboy was considered by some, as being a nasty, Fascist and/or lame character. Which I think is ridiculous too.

Hoverboy Co_Creator Charles Nutt's father, Peter.  Who's
explosion during the Battle of Cantigny is often cited as the
first occurrence of the Hoverboy "Curse".

“The Hoverboy Curse” of course refers to the untimely deaths of so many people who worked on Hoverboy comics, films and even radio shows.  To be honest, I think the Curse is kind of overblown. 

Here is my thinking. 

In the Golden Age of Radio, everyone smoked. So no wonder a lot of the writers, actors and sound effects people died young. The fact that many of these people died young from strange medical disorders like being hit by a car, crushed by a runaway boat, or Testicular Elephantitis may not have a lot to do with smoking… at first glace.  But if you think about it, maybe it does.  Somehow...

As for movies, the fact is, because none of the top comic creators worked on Hoverboy, and it was produced by a third tier publisher like Vengeance, means that the budgets for Hoverboy movie serials were always low. That meant the worst stuntmen were hired. The worst directors. The skin-flint-iest producers.  So deaths from falls, car crashes, plane crashes, and gun accidents are naturally going to follow.  Critics point out that these deaths usually happened away from the studio, when the people were at home, but I still think there’s a pattern.

Death of stuntman Bill "Limpy" Roberts, which was used as the cliffanger
for Hoverboy Serial "Hoverboy Versus the Warlords of Neptune, Chapter 4:
Giant Rocks of Death!"

As for the comic creators dying young, and dying in horrible ways, well, yes. Okay, I’ll give you that one. It’s one thing for a person to die from a burst appendix, but when Hoverboy writer Gig Newman died from the burst appendix of the fat lady sitting beside him on the bus, okay, yeah, that’s just weird. I’m sure there’s a scientific explanation. I’m not big on superstition, and I never will be. Knock on wood!

Ouch… Damn, another splinter…